Recently I've been arguing a lot with a guy who insist that I should accept him NOW. I really don't know how to explain to him about this feeling of mine of not wanting to be attached yet for now... He always make it sound like I am cheating him and just want to waste his time... Many times I do think that he is very in love with me but sometimes I really wonder if that is really love or does he just love himself? He doesn't want to waste his time, he doesn't want to risk... or am I very selfish in saying that? because I don't want to risk my heart too. As a conclusion, we both probably just love ourselves best.
I admit that I really don't like a lot of my own stubborn and thinking too much kinda characters. I admire and am really jealous of people who can let go easily and move on. I do admire them but the thing is I AM NOT like them and I CAN'T be like them, NOT I DON'T WANT TO be like them. What he brings up every night, how he compares me with Xin Dee and other girls who had easily moved on just make me feel more and more lousy about myself and frustrated with my life. God, there's only 1 thing I really asked for, but that has already been certified as "not granted." I really want to know so what's next in my life...
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